Stephen Colbert spent much of his opening monologue on Wednesday night’s “Late Show” talking about incoming Donald Trump, including naming Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz as attorney general and Tulsi Gabbard as director of national intelligence. He talked about the president’s cabinet choices so far.
“Almost eight years ago, we all [Trump] He staggers down the steps of the Capitol, puts his hand on the Bible, lies to the Supreme Court that he is defending the Constitution, and gives a very accurate speech about the coming American holocaust. And I said, quite seriously, “Hey!” Let’s not go out here with our skis on. Let’s do this one day at a time. “Perhaps, by all logic and all previous experience, it will be different this time,” Colbert said at the beginning of his monologue. “I was right, because things are already pretty bad.”
Colbert noted that President Trump announced on Truth Social earlier Wednesday that he would nominate Gaetz to be U.S. attorney general. “During the campaign, I thought if Trump won, he was going to do the worst thing I could imagine. I don’t have much of an imagination, after all,” the “Late Show” host said. said. “There’s not enough Botox in the world to hide how shocked I am. There’s not enough Botox in the world to hide how shocked I am. There’s not enough Botox in the world to hide how shocked I am. There’s not enough Botox in the world because Matt Gaetz used it all. It’s just a bit of “fun”. ”
He continued: “Matt Gaetz, the nation’s top law enforcement nominee, is currently under investigation by the House Ethics Committee, which has subpoenaed him in a sex and drug investigation.” The real question is, did he bring enough medicine to share? Because you’ll be able to use it soon. ”
“It’s going to get even worse,” Colbert told the audience afterward, noting that President Trump had chosen former Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard to be his nominee for director of national intelligence.
“Mr. Trump gave Tulsi Gabbard, the MAGA stooge and Cruella de Village idiot, another very important job,” Colbert said, adding that he gave Gabbard a very important job during the 2020 presidential campaign. He added that he had interviewed her and that “‘intelligence’ is not the first word I think of when I think of her.” One or two that come to mind. ”
Colbert said the nominations of Gates and Gabbard to Trump’s Cabinet “weren’t the kind of outrageous jaw-dropping stories I expected to be leading the monologue tonight.” He also mentioned President Trump’s nomination of Fox News host Pete Hegseth as Secretary of Defense. “Hegseth has two qualifications to be President Trump,” Colbert said. “He’s on TV, but he’s a bit of an oddball.”
Colbert described Trump’s list of nominees as the president-elect’s “Star Wars bar of the Cabinet.”
Towards the end of his monologue, the late-night host mentioned Senate Republicans’ decision to elect Sen. John Thune of South Dakota as majority leader.
“Let me just say this: Why? Here’s why you care,” Colbert said. “Are all these nominees I mentioned earlier coming straight from the mouths of lunatics? Typically they have to go through Senate confirmation, where both sides of the aisle ask salient questions and present evidence. But the candidates must defend themselves and explain why it is good for America for them to hold the office. Because he demanded it, and Mr. Thune supported it, none of that happens and Mr. Trump just says, “Bibbidi, bobbidi, boo, this is a job without review.”
